"I'm very happy I'm on Matt Serra's team, he's a good coach." - Jon after replacing Roman.
"Everybody pulled me off. It was just one punch, that was it. But he got a cut on his face and supposedly he hurt his knee." - War Machine on his brawl in the streets of San Diego that got him a misdemeanor charge.
"Five grand, I'll beat him up." - War Machine on possibly facing Blake Bowman in the fourth prelim.
"Those were Team Hughes dishes." - War Machine responding to Bowman who was bitching about nobody cleaning dirty dishes and him having to.
"It takes me a minute to cool down and think about things." - War Machine.
"Nothing I do matters. I'm always fighting myself." - War Machine.
"My dad died. I gave him CPR. Big deal. Big fucking deal. I'm stronger. I got past it. No big deal." - War Machine on his past issues.
"I hate the way my fucking brain thinks, dude." - War Machine.
"My dad was my support structure when I was growing up." - War Machine.
"I'm like my own worst enemy." - War Machine.
"I wonder who really likes me." - War Machine.
"That dude's strong." - War Machine between rounds one and two versus Tommy Speer.
"I think I blew my wad trying to choke him." - War Machine.
"We got the little spoons with the holes in 'em, and scooped it out and put it in the proper part of the toilet." - War Machine on resolving the upper decker.
"Leave it to the UFC to bring a matchup of Mr. Potatohead versus Mr. T together." - War Machine before his pro fight against Jared Rollins at the finale.